Plastic free: Toothpaste

Brushing our teeth. We’ve all gotta do it. At least if we want to be part of civilized society. And keep a job. And find a Mr. or Mrs. Right.

Yuppers, the only ones who appreciate DoggyDooDooBreath are TheBeasts, who have a unique appreciation for smelly orifices, especially when greeting new friends. (EnviroWoman’s mind wanders....imagine what our society would be like if we......)

No doubt about it, EnviroWoman is glad to walk upright among civilized society. So it was important she find herself a good toothpaste.

But a completely plastic-free toothpaste seems to be an elusive beast. (As is that other oral hygiene animal…the plastic-free toothbrush).

Oh sure, EnviroWoman could use plain old baking soda and salt. But those are particularly unsatisfying. EnviroWoman likes the minty fresh breath after-effect of the morning ritual. It gives a nice little kick start to the day. Just like a freshly washed face. And, especially important now that she can no longer imbibe in the breakfast of champions.

But she’s noticed, and you may have too, that over the past couple of years there’s been a migration from the metal toothpaste tube to the plastic toothpaste tube. Sigh.

In all her hunting she’s found only 2 brands that still sport the old-fashioned metal tube. And, like all the other toothpastes, they both have a plastic lid. (EnviroWoman has learned that caps and lids for any and all products have an unholy union with plastic and there doesn’t seem to be a way around it). These lids count as MINOR SINs.

On the plus side, both these toothpastes are cruelty-free (no animal ingredients or testing) which is a moral code EnviroWoman steers by, even more so than plastic-free.

Her first choice is Mint-flavoured Desert Essence Natural Tea Tree Oil Toothpaste. But, if EnviroWoman remembers the rest of their flavours have migrated to plastic-tube packaging. If that’s true, the mint-flavored tube probably will too. (So EnviroWoman is putting a big RESERVED sign on the supply at Capers on West 4th. Hands off, it’s mine…get yer own!) Anyhoo, their toothpaste has got a good dose of mint to it. However, EnviroWoman notices its ‘fresh-breath’ effect isn’t as long-lasting as non-cruelty-free brands like Colgate or Crest.

EnviroWoman’s second choice is Tom of Maine’s Natural Fluoride-free Baking Soda Toothpaste. It definitely gives you that immediate ‘fresh-breath’ tang. But the paste is smoother and saltier in your mouth than other toothpastes, and leaves a bit of a day-long salt after-taste which in EnviroWoman’s opinion is almost DoggyDooDooRaunchy. But a small price to pay for cruelty-free. Well, okay, that’s debatable.

EnviroWoman has also looked into toothpowders (the goddess Oprah likes Eco-Dent), but these seem to all be packaged in plastic.

If you've developed your own plastic-free ‘minty-fresh’ homemade recipes, or have discovered any other non-plastic options, I’d love to hear about them. And especially if you’ve found a plastic-free toothbrush (I’m beginning to think this particular oral hygiene beast has already gone extinct).

So here’s how things add up:

Category: Toothpaste
SAINTS: Desert Essence Natural Tea Tree Oil, Tom of Maine’s Natural Fluoride free Baking Soda Toothpaste
Quality: About the same to a little sub-par
Price: Way, way more expensive
SINNERS: Colgate, Crest, Kiss My Face, Sensodyne, Nature's Gate, AquaFresh, Dabar Herbal and probably but not sure about Arm and Hammers, Rembrandt, Fixodent (couldn’t snoop into their boxes)

Lessons Learned:

• Keep yer distance. Sometimes when you start to morph into a hard-core granola, your body hygiene may 'devolve'. You may want to advise your friends and family that while in your eco-holiness presence, that they increase the circumference of their 'personal space' if they notice you have taken on a slight air of DoggyDooDooRaunchy. Hopefully they will continue to love you unconditionally just like TheBeast does. However, if TheBeast really starts to get 'in your face' and greets you in socially unacceptable human-standard ways, you know you have taken your new found granolaness to dangerous levels.