Plastic free: Lipstick

After getting all brainiac from her trip to Oz, EnviroWoman decided she needed a GirlyGirl reward.

So she bought lipstick!

One thousand and one. One thousand and two.

Okay, in those two seconds, 90% of TheTestosterones just hit the browser Back button. Bye, bye boys. But come back soon. Maybe next time EnviroWoman will blog about plastic-free hockey pucks or beer. Ya never know.

The other 10% of TheTestosterones diverted their attention from the computer monitor during those 2 seconds to yell over their shoulder ‘HoneyBun, SweetiePie, LoveofMyLifewiththeSmallTightLittleBuns....ya gotta come read this…EnviroWoman is talking lipstick.’ Oh boys, we so love you for that. Brownie points galore! Plus a little plastic-free peck on the cheek from EnviroWoman.

Now that leaves the rest of us Girrrllllsss!!!!!

And women….it’s true, today EnviroWoman celebrates…..miracle of miracles….plastic-free lipstick.

You’ve probably already heard about it, ‘cuz its getting plenty of buzz.

The stuff is Plant Love by Cargo Cosmetics.

EnviroWoman hates to admit it – but I bought it strictly for its packaging!!! Because it’s so revolutionary. Evolutionary, really. The first of its kind in the cosmetics industry. A serious injection of eco-cool.

The lipstick tube is made of PLA…the friendly bioplastic EnviroWoman discovered on her trip to Oz. You know, GoodWitchoftheNorthBioplastic. Made of corn. Completely compostable. Biodegrades within 100 days, into completely benign, non-toxic particles. Greenhouse-gas-neutral. Doesn't even like to call itself 'plastic' bioplastic.

Good, happy-planet stuff.

And they tell me, it’s cruelty-free too. Contains jojoba and shea butter. No petroleum, or mineral oil. No animal byproducts. Never tested on innocent sweet lives.

Good, happy-animal stuff.

And the accompanying box is also completely biodegradable and embedded with wildflower seeds, so you can plant it and watch it grow. (Although a trusted source tells me similar seeded-paper often ‘cooks’ the seeds during the paper-making process. So the seeds never grow.)

There’s 12 girly Plant Love shades. Cargo claims five were ‘designed’ by celebs (like Lindsay Lohan, and Evangline Lily) Yeah, like I really believe that, and do I really care. The other 7 shades were inspired by natural beauty (like Canada’s own Nahinni, or the US’s Yellowstone). Well, I kinda believe that, but it’s probably just marketing fluff, and again, do I really care.

As with any lipstick, there are two fundamental tests its gotta pass:

1. Numero Uno is….staying power. EnviroWoman rates it as about a 5 outta 10.
2. Numero Dos is the ‘kissable’ taste-test. TheBeast gives it an 8 (but she’d rate any kiss from MyHuman as an 8 - even if it truthfully tasted DoggyDooDooRaunchy. She loves me. I love her). On the other hand, MyMcDreamy gives it a 4. EnviroWoman has to admit, my immediate reaction to the first application was 'Ugh, this is a bit DoggyDooDooRaunchy’. TheBeast will probably love it.’ But, it seems to taste better now (maybe I’m just so determined to like this stuff, my objectivity is all puckered up).

Despite this, let’s all blow a kiss to Cargo – for being the first in the industry to use PLA bioplastics. And let’s hope they are not the last. Let’s hope this is the sign of things to come.

Because…..be honest Girrllllss – have you ever, ever, ever tossed an empty lipstick tube in the recycling bin? Probably not. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen any marked with a recycling symbol. My BodyShop lipsticks from 2006 aren’t. So most lipsticks should never grace your recycling bin….and if you’re tossing them there…you’re just fooling yourself. A plastic that isn’t marked with a Plastic Resin Code shouldn’t be recycled.

And hugs to anyone who buys Plant Love. Not just because they’re supporting an eco-friendly product and helping to build demand, but also because they’re forking out a whopping $20 bucks a tube. Although, Cargo buffers this by donating $2 to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital. (EnviroWoman wonders….why wouldn’t an eco-friendly product donate its money to an eco-friendly environmental cause?)

So here’s how things add up:

Category: Lipstick
SAINT: Plant Love by Cargo….made of corn-based compostable bioplastic. Bonus points for being cruelty-free.
Price: $20.
Quality: Not as long-lasting as others, but not bad. Okay colors, though some are a bit too sparkly, even for this GirlyGirl.
SINNER: Body Shop (you don’t know how much it pains me to say that), L’Oreal, Revlon, Cover Girl, Lise Watier, Marcelle, Almay...oh hell, all of 'em...

Lessons Learned:

• Ya gotta support the trailblazers when they appear to be blazing the right trail. Give them your money. Create the demand. Follow them as they walk you into a better future.
• Vanity should do no harm. In an ideal world (which hopefully we’ll get to in EnviroWoman's lifetime) something as frivioulous as makeup shouldn’t hurt the planet…or any of its creatures.
• Beasts love unconditionally, even when your kisses are DoggyDooDooRaunchy. We need more beasts in the world.

Plastic free: Trash Bags

I cut a plastic life-line loose the other day. In a little private ceremony in front of Safeway.

I deposited a whole swack of plastic bags into Safeway’s recycling bin. Adios amigos. Asta la vista. Sayonara.

This was a bundle which had taken up residence in the back seat of MyLittleCar after I tossed them there in the summer of 2006. I’d been too lazy or pre-occupied to deposit them into the recycling bin.

I re-discovered them in the early days of my no-new-plastic-pledge and thought…'Hmmmm…since the rule is I can continue to reuse any of the plastic I have in my life as of Dec 31st 2006, in a pinch I could use these as garbage bags when my paper ones run out.'

But those bags have remained there, untouched, since January 1st. So I thought it was time to let them happily be counted among the 3% of plastic bags that get recycled, instead of the 97% that end up in a landfill taking up to 1,000 years to disintegrate.

Surprisingly, it was easy to let them go.

Partly because I’m starting to get the UrgeToPurge all plastic in my life (even the stuff leftover from 2006). And partly because I’ve found a great substitute - compostable BagToNature kitchen trash bags made out of corn.

I took a lot of time choosing which bags I was gonna lay my cash down for. Not because this was some earth-shattering decision that the future existence of planet-kind hinged on (well, okay, maybe it was).

But rather, because of this comment :^) (yup, that was his/her name) made back in January letting me know not all plastic alternatives are created equal….and some may even be sneaky wolves wearing sheep’s clothing:

"Plastic bag manufacturers have started promoting their products as biodegradeable after they started adding tapioca to their recipes. Since tapioca is organic, a shopping bag containing tapioca will be broken down by micro organisms after it is discarded in the environment, seeding that environment with the polyethylene fragments that no micro organism will consume

I know of a shopping bag that is 100% natural and biodegradable, but due to its relative cost, there isn't a market for it here, yet..."

EnviroWoman will admit, she knew pretty much zippo…nil…nada…. about plastic before embarking on the plastic-is-my-pariah pledge.

Now, some of you may be thinking…'Chickiepoo, if you knew nothing about plastic, why were you so dead-set against it?' EnviroWoman’s snappy retort is… 'I don't have to jump out of a plane without a parachute to know it can't be good for me.'

Anyway, back to picking the right bags…. I so wanted to make a GOOD and informed decision. So I embarked on a crash course in Plastics 101.

And that made me head in the direction of compostable bioplastic bags. I think they’re a good choice. Not a perfect choice. But a good choice. They are better than degradable plastic bags made out of the evil petroleum but which have an additive that disguises them to look like good guys.

You might want to know ‘How can I get my own enviro paws on some BagtoNature’. And guess what. You might not be able to.

I bought mine at EPIC, the recent show here in Vancouver on sustainable living. And when I saw ‘em, I bought a year’s supply because they aren’t available locally from what I can tell. They have someone associated with zerowasteproducts.com who is trying to introduce them to our area, but alas, their website is under construction. Waaahhhh! If you want the sales person's contact info email me at envirowoman@shaw.ca.

The parent company is INDACO Manufacturing and their website gives more info about comparable products.

If you have a local supplier of eco-bags, make sure you check that they are compostable (not just degradable, or biodegradable) to ensure you're buying the most earth-friendly option. Check out Plastics 101: Part 1: Bad Witch, Good Witch for a whirlwind tour of the types of plastic.

So here’s how things add up:

Category: Trash Bags
SAINT: BagToNature, made of corn, compostable, degradable.
Price: Pricey little suckers. $5 for 20.
Quality: Thicker than regular plastic bags. They seem really durable. And most importantly they don’t seem to be subject to the TribbleEffect, which is always a good thing.
SINNER: Grocery store shopping bags….let’s face it most of us reuse them as trash bags instead of buying store bought trash bags made from Glad, Ziploc, or Safeway.

Lessons Learned:

• Composting is MotherNature’s way. She only produces things that can be composted, and doesn’t add toxins in the process. (Yeah, I know, there’s gotta be some exceptions to that rule). Humans should follow her example. Rarely does MomNature burn her garbage, either. Another excellent example to follow. (I'm sure there's a book in there somewhere: All I really need to know, I learned from Mother Nature).
• Lo and behold...there are GOOD (bio)plastics. Who knew?

Plastics 101: Part 1, Bad Witch, Good Witch

Grab a java. And your ruby slippers. This is one long trek through OZ.

All is not right in Kansas.

It started as just a windstorm a-brewing. But look over there, I'm sure that's a funnel cloud on the horizon. And can you feel a mysterious alteration of the air….and a slight breeze headed our way? The birds have stopped singing and the crickets aren't chirping. And when they’re quiet it’s never a good sign…’cuz it’s an omen a real tornado is headed our way.

And that tornado is global warming.

Will you and EnviroWoman be standing in the eye of the storm soon? Or can we change our ways profoundly enough, and fast enough to divert disaster?

Time magazine tells us there are 51 ways to help slow global warming. One way EnviroWoman has chosen is to take the 'no-new-plastic' pledge for 2007.

Now you might think 'Wow, to live a whole year with not letting any new plastic into your life really takes courage, heart, and brains.'

It’s true EnviroWoman is lion-hearted and not afraid to change her ways to save the planet. And long ago she learned to have a heart-full of compassion for nature and other living things.

But the one thing EnviroWoman needs is a better brain, because she's no expert when it comes to plastic. The sad, silly truth is, she is actually quite ignorant about plastic (as are most of us probably).

This became blatantly obvious when she landed in No-New-Plastic Land (with TheBeast tucked under her arm) and started her journey down the yellow brick road to find a non-plastic replacement for trash bags. Yes. Trash bags.

She knew the road ahead was going to be a challenge after reading a comment that :^) made back in January (yes, that really is the name he/she goes by....must be a Prince fan), letting her know some plastic alternatives may not actually be as WizardWonderful as they appeared.

But, EnviroWoman knew somewhere over the rainbow there must be a better, more earth-friendly solution. And she wanted to make the right, informed choice.

So EnviroWoman decided it was time to start her plastic education. And you my friend, are welcome to follow the yellow brick road with her, share in what she learns….so you too can become plastic-enlightened.

So slip on your ruby slippers…here we go....

The first installment of Plastics 101
(Apologies if there are shameful inaccuracies. Feel free to correct me by adding a comment. I don’t claim to be an expert, nor have I fact-checked the content below with ScienceWizard)

Science and innovation combined their forces and gave birth to the WickedWitchoftheEastOil way back as early as the 1850’s. When she hit puberty in the early 1900’s she started to build her powers and began casting spells on the people of MunchkinLand.

Around that same time, she conjured herself up a little sister – the WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic. And when Baby Sis's own powers started to kick-in during the early 1950’s – ooooeeee she too became a formidable force. WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic increased her hold over the planet 6000% in the next 4 short decades. Wicked, wicked woman.

Today, WickedWitchoftheEastOil and WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic have such a strong spell over MunchkinLand that it's inhabitants are all now OilAddicted and PlasticAddicted. And wrecking havoc on MotherOZ.

But the sister witchs' source of power is non-renewable. And therein lies their weak spot. (Because, in the next 40 years or so, their power is going to get completely used up)

In EnviroWoman's search for an incantation to release herself from the WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic’s spell, she started researching alternatives to plastic trash bags.

The Munchkins told her, 'Travel to the Emerald City and look for ‘bioplastics’. EnviroWoman had ignorantly thought that all plastics were WickedWitchoftheEast petroleum-based. But bioplastics didn’t seem to be…even though they carried the moniker ‘plastic’. So that made EnviroWoman ask…

What the Heck is Plastic Anyway?

The Munchkins told her 'It’s plastic if it’s fluid at some point during processing but solid in its final form, and the main ingredient is a polymer. Some polymers are natural (silk, natural rubber, starch) and some are synthetic (nylon, polyester).' Boy, those Munchkins are smarter than they look.

Anyway, there are many, many kinds of plastics and a couple of kinds of bioplastics. For the sake of our journey down the yellow brick road, let’s plunk them into 4 broad categories.

WickedWitchoftheWest – Petroleum Based Plastics (I'll get you my little pretty!)

• ‘Traditional’ plastic (the one we're all addicted to) uses non-renewable petroleum as the polymer. No doubt, its durable, cheap, lightweight, and long-lasting. But it’s not degradable (well, maybe in 1,000 years) or compostable. You could drop a house on it, and it still wouldn't go away.
  
  Therein lies EnviroWoman's beef with it.




Over 200 billion pounds of plastics are produced each year worldwide. That’s about 40 pounds for everyone on the planet - every year. Doesn't sound too bad does it? But plastic is super light...a 2 liter pop bottle weighs 1/2 ounce mabye. Now do the math. That’s alot of plastic.

And the vast majority of that doesn’t get recycled. It gets discarded.

Do we have the right to pollute the planet with garbage that will still be here in MunchkinLand 40 generations later? I hope you answered 'No'.

Imagine if you moved into a new home and the previous residents had left all their garbage behind. You’d be disgusted. (Excuse me while EnviroWoman steps down from her soapbox now...no wait, she thinks she'll stay up here a while longer).

Many varieties of petroleum-based plastic can be recycled and these are denoted with an SPI Resin Identification Code of 1 through 7. One being the easiest to recycle into other goods and 7 being the hardest.



The Munchkins gave Envirowoman the Pyramid of Plastics by Greenpeace shown below, and she added her own personal touch to it.

Look at the three plastics at the top of the pyramid.

#3 Polyvinyl chloride (PVC) was called the ‘poison plastic’ in Greenpeace’s excellent document. Dated, but still excellent.



#7 plastic was demonized as ‘inherently toxic’ and ‘a train wreck that is absolutely coming’ in a recent Globe and Mail article which was ooo-eee scary scary stuff (you can also find it here).

Both #3 and #6 are not accepted by our own municipal blue box recycling program (EnviroWoman is always surprised by how many people don’t know that….and even more stupefied that some people don’t know about the 7 symbols and where to find them on plastic items. Staggering.)

• Degradable plastic uses non-renewable petroleum as the polymer, but includes an additive (often a starch, like the tapioca mentioned in :^)’s comment).
  
  The additive accelerates degradation under certain biological or physical conditions (sunlight or heat, for example) making the plastic break down into small fragments that themselves take a long, long time to degrade.
  
  The fragments (which remember, are petroleum based) can be ingested by marine life or migrate into the water table or soil where they can attract and hold highly toxic elements like little munchkin PCBs and DDTs. In essence, the fragments can act like little toxic chemical transport systems.
  
  If you continuously put degradable plastic bags in your compost pile, eventually you’d pollute the soil.




Degradable plastics are marketed as if they are a beautiful field of poppies, lulling us into a ‘these are good’ comfort so much so that we fall asleep and forget that our real goal is to reach the EmeraldCityNirvana of a planet-friendly alternative.

Sometimes you have to get past the smoke and mirrors, and pull the curtain to discover the true Wizard.

In fact, degradable plastics are really more like ‘Winged Monkeys’ - modified from their original form but still actually hand maidens of the WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic.

GoodWitchoftheNorth – Bioplastics (There's no place like Mother Earth)

• Biodegradable plastics are a much friendlier witch. Classified as ‘bioplastics’, they are not derived from petroleum, but from renewable resources like, corn, trees, and soy. That makes them much more EarthFriendly, as noted in the Greenpeace chart.




Naturally-occurring micro-organisms such as bacteria, fungi and algae feed on them, degrading them in the process. Biodegradable plastics may not disintegrate instantaneously, but still degrade faster than traditional plastics. Manufacturers can even ‘tune’ the degradation period by incorporating certain additives.

One downside: they are not required to ensure they leave 'NO toxic residue' during the degradation process.

• Compostable plastics are bioplastics that degrade into C02, water, inorganic compounds and biomass at the same rate as paper when composted. Completely benign. No toxic or heavy metal residues. They even support plant life. And they usually disintegrate in less than 180 days under industrial composting conditions (usually 60 degrees, defined humidity and micro-organisms present).




The BagtoNature trash bags EnviroWoman finally decided on, fall into this category and are made from a renewable resource - corn. BagtoNature is careful to not even use the word 'plastic' in their sales material, so we realize they are offspring of the GoodWitchoftheNorthBioPlastic.

Don’t they sound ‘EmeraldCity spectacular? Alas….some bloggers report that in household composting systems, compostable bioplastics seem to take forever to degrade.

Here in Vancouver’s corner of MunchkinLand, although we have a fantastic blue-box-recycling program, we don’t have a community composting program. So EnviroWoman’s lovely BagToNature bags are gonna make their way to a landfill instead of an industrial composting site. But (fingers-crossed) they should decompose much, much faster and into much healthier particles than the Safeway plastic bags she used to use.

Now let’s not get too fooled by all this TechnoWizardry. When WickedWitchoftheWest plastics were first introduced they probably looked EmeraldCitySpectacular too. And now 60 years later we’re discovering all the toxic, polluting, and gonna-be-around-for-1,000-years downsides. Maybe the same will happen with bioplastics.

Someday they may not appear so WizardWonderful.

And let’s face it, they still have their problems:


They don’t prevent people from littering




Animals can still choke on them (but in small pieces they get assimilated as normal food)




They shouldn’t be mixed in with traditional plastics during the recycling process (small quantities are okay, but with big quantities WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic likes to scream 'I'm melting. I'm melting' all on her own.)




They’re more expensive (but as demand increases you'd think the price would come down. So start demanding!)




And just imagine all the agricultural land it would take to grow enough corn etc. to satisfy our lust for plastic addiction.




And so on and so on…

But as the WickedWitchoftheEastOil begins to lose her powers, and oil becomes increasingly expensive because of its rarity, the only logical move is to towards bioplastics. The GoodWitchoftheNorthBioplastics may be our saviour and our future.

Forgive EnviroWoman while she gets UberOZ on you….but she had an epiphany while reading an article from Bioplastics Magazine (She used to read InStyle, now she reads Bioplastics…wow, the times, they are a-changing).

The BrightBulbConcept goes something like this…..Composting mimics the way nature takes care of its own waste here on Earth. It’s a perpetual loop system that goes like this: gorw/produce/convert – use – biodegrade – grow/produce/convert, etc. It’s sort of an ashes to ashes, dust to dust kinda concept (that doesn’t add toxic chemicals in the process, I might add).

Nature doesn’t produce things that can’t be composted (except for maybe mountains...and even then, if you waited long enough....). And Nature rarely uses incineration (forest fires) to recover materials (she knows burning your garbage isn't as planet-friendly).

EnviroWoman knows MotherNature is a superior intelligence. Way, way smarter than the WizardofOz. And bizillions of light years ahead of our own little peabrains. If it’s the way MomNature does things…it’s the way EnviroWoman thinks we should do things, too.

And if we do...and use our courage, heart, and brains, maybe we can save the planet.

Now close your eyes, tap your ruby slipper heels together, and repeat after me three times:

There’s no place like MotherEarth. There’s no place like Mother Earth. There’s no place like MotherEarth.

Plastic free: Frozen Pizza

I have a confession to make. And no, it’s not another MAJOR SIN.

Let me premise the murky, mucky, dirty details by saying EnviroWoman likes to think she lives her life to high moral standards. Sure, she’s had momentary lapses. Road rage. Revenge fantasies. White lies. Plastic purchases. But for the most part…she travels life with a clean slate and a clear conscious.

But now…with a Scarlett Letter….

You see, EnviroWoman has been having an adulterous love affair….with Dr. Oetker.

And this has been one crazy kinda love….the stuff of Pulitzer Prize winning Harlequin Romances.

I still remember the exact moment I caught my first cosmic-fated, soul-mated ‘where have you been all my life’ glimpse of him right there in Safeway’s frozen food aisle. From that instant, I surrendered my body, soul, and wallet over to him.

I was smitten. Big time.

Our dangerous liaisons were hot….torrid….broiling…lip-burning secret encounters. I made him melt. And he….he was literally consumed by my passionate embraces.

I’ll confess – he was even better than MyMcDreamy. He was….MyMcSteamy!

The WiseVoiceInside said ‘He’s no good for me.’ Girl friends told me ‘What are you thinking? He’s 18% fat. Get rid of him!’ But I pulled the wool right over my own eyes, in that love-is-blind kind of way.

My appetite was insatiable. I wanted him so, so bad. Even if it meant becoming a JennyGirl.

When he started to demand more, I was still putty in his hands. First he asked ‘2 for $8’. Then $4.69 for one. Then $5.39, Then $6.49. Always testing my devotion. In a 'take-advantage' kinda way. And still, I remained his faithful mistress.

But today, as I reached into the freezer and took out the very, very, very last box of Dr. Oetker’s frozen Ristorante pizzas left over from 2006, I realized this illicit liaison was coming to an end. Because that hunka hunka o’ burnin’ love comes packaged in plastic.

Today, after one last passionate fling, I gave Dr. Oetker the love-punt…right into the recycling bin. He and I are splitzville. I won't be bringing him home again. World’sBestMom will never be able to proudly claim “My daughter is marrying a doctor.”

We are now officially ‘ex’s. Star-crossed lovers.

There will be no more day-dreaming about him at work….rushing home…ripping off my coat…throwing open the freezer door…the heat of those 12 minutes at 425 degrees…No more delicious climatic embraces with ‘Big O’. No more devouring him with my love.

Alas, I am the dumper. He…the dumpee. I’ve told him ‘It’s me. Not you.’ You see, I’ve just outgrown him. I need something more….something better….something plastic-free. I’ve raised my standards. I’ve come to my senses. I’ve taken the ‘no-new-plastic-pledge’. So I’m washing Dr. Oetker right outta my hair.

As Elizabeth Bennet would say…'Go, Go, I would not wish you back again.'

Now don’t think you have to lay the ‘plenty-of-fish-in-the-sea’ hollow platitudes on me. I’m totally ‘Okay’ with an empty freezer. Besides, my pizza celibacy will be short-lived. (Not that I intend to go on the prowl again back at the Safeway frozen food aisle, because all of Dr. Oetker’s friends are the same plastic-packaged-at-the-core-scoundrels he was.)

You see my sweets, it’s fresh pizza only from this moment forward for EnviroWoman. And luckily, there’s a pizzeria just 52 steps away from her front door. She’s already been eyeing the new hunky plastic-free GreekOdonis there. You should see the size of his tomatoes. (Don’t tell MyMcDreamy).

So here’s how things add up:

Category: Frozen Pizza
SAINT: Your local pizzeria that serves fresh, fresh, fresh.
Price: A bit more expensive.
Quality: Debatable. Dr. Oetker's was pretty special. Thin crust. Not too fattening. Low cal. Satiating, but not stuffing. And there when you want him, at your beck and call, no matter if it's even the wee morning hours (Can’t you tell, I don’t have him out of my system yet).
SINNER: Any frozen pizza by McCain, Kraft, Del Maestro, Dr. Oetker, Safeway Select, or whatever brands reside in your local frozen food aisle.

Lessons Learned:

• Fresh is better than frozen 'cuz frozen food is in bed with the plastic-devil.
• WiseVoiceInside is always right. Pay attention to it. Heed its warnings. It is the closest thing we humans have to ‘natural instinct’. Girl friends are good too.
• It is better to have an empty freezer and be able to live with oneself, than have a full freezer and be a plague on the planet and to those you love.
  

Plastic free: Girl Guide Cookies

Ah, the first signs of Spring have appeared.

When I was a prairie-girl, you knew it was spring when you saw the year’s first dead gopher splattered on the side of the road. I'm not kidding.

Thankfully, here on the west coast, spring is heralded by much lovelier signs: cherry blossoms, magnolia blooms, and the appearance of Girl Guides hawking their cookies.

But this year, I’ve sworn off letting any new plastic into my life, and alas, I declare it with a heavy heart – that’ means Girl Guide Cookies are off limits for 2007. Because those little femme-fatale-concoctions are lovingly nestled in cradles of plastic.

(Notice how EnviroWoman now momentarily lapses into a rare ‘glass half empty’ point of view.)

Now I gotta say, this all SUCKS BIG TIME. I don’t like being the CookieScrooge. Because it gives me a thrill to support these WeeWomen by purchasing their sugary morsels. They always seem so triumphant when your cold hard cash lands in their pink little palms. Donald Trumpettes in the making. Too, too cute.

Plus, it’s a semi-annual tradition to leave a GirlGuideGift on MyNeighbour’s doorstep. And this year I can’t. Her and I have a quid pro quo pact …she supports my sugar habit…I support her’s. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday and already the Bunny-Next-Door has visited - her doorstoop is graced with ribbon-festooned boxes stuffed with an ooey-gooey cinnamon bun and a choclately-cheesecake…and my doorstep is graced with foil covered Easter Eggs, and a little Purdy’s Easter-bun-bun (that one’s wrapped in plastic, so I’m gonna have to re-gift it to someone else – MyNeighbour is unaware I have magically morphed into the ‘plastic-is-my-pariah’ EnviroWoman this year).

Anyhoo, it’s just a crying shame EnviroWoman has had to break with the circle of sugar-GirlGuide-love. You'd think she'd be able to loosen up the sphincter a bit on this one - but she's starting to feel people expect her to be the poster-girl for plastic redemption, so she has to stick to her guns.

(Now notice how EnviroWoman makes a brave attempt to take her usual ‘glass half full’ perspective on this sad, bleak, dark-well-of-despair situation)

Well, at least I have another 6 months to prepare myself for the fact I can’t buy any of their Chocolately Mint Girl Guide cookies this October – because those ones are REALLY TO DIE FOR. Way better than the Spring line of ‘Classic’ cookies. It’s gonna take everything I’ve got not to be tempted into MAJOR SIN when those little puppies get waved in front of my sugar-zombied eyes (and by October, probably sugar-deprived-zombied eyes) by some cute little jelly-bean of a girl. So it’s probably a good thing I’ll have plenty of time to prepare my inner fortitude.

(Now notice how EnviroWoman makes a plea to live vicariously through you, dear reader)

Now, I hear through the grapevine, some of you folks who read my rants have actually started giving up plastic in your own lives. And I think that’s MAGIC. We all have to break our addiction to petroleum so we don’t burn up the planet.

But can you do EnviroWoman this one favour…go buy some GirlGuide cookies. Commit a plastic SIN on my behalf, so I don’t have to. Give the little darlin’s a thrill and buy their cookies. Just ‘cuz I can’t, doesn’t mean YOU can’t partake of this annual Spring tradition and welcome in the season of hope and renewal.

Lessons Learned

• Sometimes it sucks to be EnviroWoman!
• In emergencies you have to save the Mother first, before tending to the child. Like when the yellow oxygen masks fall from the overhead bins in a plummeting airplane, or when the MotherShip is burning up due to global warming.
• The glass is always 100% full. 50% with water, 50% with air. Take that Mensa!

Plastic-free: Flowers

I feel guilty every time I buy flowers. I think it has to do with my cruelty-free chromosome. Something so so beautiful, having it’s life cut short (literally) for me, just seems so, so wrong. I just don’t feel I have the right.

That’s why I never buy flowers for myself. But sometimes, I will admit, I buy them for others. I know, that’s a big wallop of makes-no-sense, illogical, incongruency – but there you have it.

But now that I’ve given up plastic in 2007, buying flowers presents not just a moral challenge, but also a plastic challenge too. Because flowers come wrapped in plastic…

Now you might be thinking ‘Well EnviroWoman, buy a plant instead!' And usually I do. It seems like such an obvious, guilt-free and great solution, doesn’t it? Except plants come in green plastic pots.

I thought if I narrowed my search to plants potted in ceramic or wicker planters I’d come up smelling like a rose. But NOOOOOO, because those puppies can be oh-so-devious – dig deep with your green thumb, and you’ll discover they’re often just a plastic potted plant popped into a ceramic planter.

I searched high and low, and thought I may have to give up on the whole ‘welcome the new team member with flowers’ notion….and then I lucked out and found flowers in a glass vase – completely plastic-free.

The original container the roses were stored in was metal too - so this seemed to be as close to ‘plastic-free’ as I was gonna get. The florist even let me carry my bouquet out of the store ‘as-is’ with no extra packaging/wrapping.

So here’s how things add up:

Category: Flowers
SAINT: Bouquets in a glass vases.
Price: More expensive. You’re not gonna find $5 worth of daisies in a glass vase, plus you’re paying for the vase. But at least the vase is reusable.
Quality: The same…and come to think of it….a much nicer gift for the recipient
SINNER: All flowers packaged in plastic and all plants in those green plastic planters.

Lessons Learned:

• Dig deep. Looks can be deceiving. Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty and get to the root of the problem to discover if there is really is something more sinister below the pretty fascade. True with flowers. True with life. (Can't you just see it now 'The Tao of EnviroWoman'. Pooh, ya better watch out!)