MAJOR SIN #1
EnviroWoman has committed her first MAJOR SIN since pledging to live plastic-free in 2007.
A MAJOR SIN is when EnviroWoman falls right offa the bandwagon and buys or uses new plastic, flagrantly throwing her morals to the wind (and kyboshing her 'no-new plastic' New Year’s resolution)...thereby putting the future of Mother Earth in jeopardy.
A MAJOR SIN may occur when a cruelty-free (first priority), non-plastic (second priority) replacement cannot be found in EnviroWoman’s realm. Or it may occur because the allure of the pretty plastic thingy reduces EnviroWoman’s will power to that of a lima bean.
If you've been following her tirades, you know EnviroWoman’s faithful deodorant went all kamikaze on her and met its demise on the bathroom floor in early January. This caused EnviroWoman to begin her first ‘no-plastic’ quest of the year to find an eco-friendly replacement. She scored big time, gleefully discovering a completely plastic free deodorant at LUSH.
Well, the sad news is….the stuff was crap. There were several mornings when, by 11:00 a.m. EnviroWoman was beginning to waft a certain je ne sais quoi. Entirely inappropriate for the hallowed halls of CorporateCanada where body odour equates career suicide.
EnviroWoman took drastic measures. She spent some net-time researching alternatives: home-made concoctions (hmm, same ingredients as LUSH’s, therefore ineffective), earth-friendly/organic/all natural… and even new-age spooky crystals. Alas, all those that held promise dashed her hopes by being packaged in plastic. Even all the ‘never heard of ‘em before’ brands carried at the organic-granola-shopping mecca here in LaLaLand – Capers.
She was nearly zombie-tempted to buy her fav, Dove Clear Essentials, which steadfastly held her pits at bay for all of 2006. But then she came to the horrifying discovery that Dove’s plastic packaging isn’t even recyclable. So, EnviroWoman resorted to purchasing Nature’s Gate Spring Fresh Deodorant. Completely cruelty-free, biodegradable, and supposedly effective (well, she and her fellow CorporateCanadians will see about that).
Alas, her choice is packaged in a big chunk of white plastic – but at least it’s a grade 5 recyclable big chunk of white plastic.
In a true air of superiority that her Cruelty-free Chromosome gives her, EnviroWoman actually thought it would take her months and months before she committed her first major sin. It is nice to know she is mortal like the rest of us.
EnviroWoman, you’re just a jello-spined sanctimonious hypocrite. A legend in your own ego. Just 3 weeks outta the gate and you commit your first MAJOR SIN. What kind of a role model are you, anyhoo?
Your stock is really plummeting, chickie. If I was you, I'd be jumping on the guiltapalooza.
