Thursday, May 10, 2007

Plastic free: Highlighters

Friends. Family. We are gathered here today to pay our final respects to YellowHighlighter.

A devoted and faithful companion to EnviroWoman for many, many years YellowHighlighter shared her love of reading, reconciling bank statements, and drawing on TheBeast’s nose.

He was her ever-constant StudyBuddy through 14 years of post secondary school and even accompanied her into the hallowed halls of CorporateCanada.

And she…well she was as equally devoted to YellowHighlighter... buying him by the Costco-boxful to ensure he was always close at hand. She took him everywhere. And when he paled from exhaustion, she would replenish his ink to renew his purpose in life.

I asked her once what she loved about YellowHighlighter and her answer was simple, as true love often is…“He fills my life with color. He helps me focus on what’s really important.”

So devoted was she, that when YellowHighlighter was on his deathbed, the yellow drained out of him, and now just a mere hunk of plastic compared to his former self, EnviroWoman despaired “There will never be another.”

And indeed, life will never be the same for EnviroWoman.

And we, her family and friends, must rally around her in this time of despair and no-plastic adjustment. When she reaches for her life-long companion YellowHighlighter, we must offer her ballpoint pens and pencil crayons instead.

We must remind her that his memory will go on forever, and indeed, so will his body since he’s made of non-biodegradable plastic.

After the service, please join us at the LocalLandfill where we will lay YellowHighlighter’s body for its final rest, as it does not appear to be recyclable.

And now my friends, please turn to page 22 of your hymnals and raise your voices in celebration of a life that once was…and EnviroWoman’s life that is now reborn…plastic-free.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me....
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see….

Rest in Peace YellowHighlighter. Rest in No-Plastic-Peace my friend.

So here’s how things add up:

Category: Highlighters
SAINT: The good old ball point pen (I’m using my all metal Cross pen) and have dug into my supply of Prismacolor pencil crayons (why didn’t I ever think of this before?)
Price: Way cheaper
Quality: Not quite as pretty and colorful…but really, who cares…you’re just marking up paper
SINNER: All highlighters, especially the ones that are not refillable. Stabilo, Roundedge, Accent, Sanford, Eberhard Faber

Lessons learned:

  • Think outside the box. There is more than one way to bring color into your life.
  • Think outside disposables. Let’s face it, we live in a disposable society. Everything seems throw-a-away now adays…But here’s the kicker…the one thing that isn’t disposable is the planet. We gotta start refusing disposables.
  • Stop being blind. Start seeing. Stop being lost. Get found. (that doesn't sound right does it?...but you know what I mean). Either we change our ways and start trying to create HeavenOnEarth, or the planet goes to hell in a hand basket and takes us along with it. (Rightly so, too)

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Plastic free: Pop #2

For years EnviroWoman proudly proclaimed “I belong to the Pepsi Generation”….even after giving up plastic. I just resorted to drinking Pepsi from a can so I could still count myself among the CokeCounterCulture, but still live plastic-free.

But Anonymous has changed all that....He/she left a comment letting me know that aluminum pop cans have a lining of plastic inside, like some evil bogeyman lurking in a deep dark soda well, ready to snatch small children and EnviroWoman when they come for a drink.

‘Tis true! The pic here is proof positive. Freaky isn’t it?

Hop on over to Steven Spangler’s Science for full details. But here is EnviroWoman’s ColesNotes version…(wow…this takes me back to my organic chemistry days).

The ScienceWizards took an empty pop can, sanded the paint off the outside of it, then immersed it in a beaker of corrosive sodium hydroxide. About 2 hours later, the aluminum had been eaten away from the outside of the can….showing the interior plastic liner.

EnviroWoman had two questions when I saw this pic:

  1. Why oh why is there a plastic liner? In addition to carbonated water, caffeine, colors, preservatives, and sweeteners, my beloved Pepsi also contains phosphoric and citric acids. This makes it quite acidic (Pepsi has a pH of about 2.5-3.0 compared to the less acidic orange juice at 3.4 to 4.0). Without a plastic lining the Pepsi would gradually corrode/rust the can from the inside-out giving the beverage a metallic taste and shortening its shelf life. To prevent this, the inside of aluminum cans are sprayed with a thin protective layer of plastic. (Let’s hope it’s not a grade 3 or 7 plastic which are nasty suckas)
  2. How come there is still metal at the top and bottom of the can? Turns out 2 types of aluminum are used in making the can. The main body is from a Grade 3 alloy, but the tops and bottom use a heavier Grade 5 alloy (with higher levels of magnesium and manganese) making it more resistant to corrosion and damage.

What does this mean for EnviroWoman?

Wahhhh! I can no longer be a member of the Pepsi generation – at least for 2007.

So since April I’ve been hunting for, and taste-testing, plastic-free bevy alternatives and will report my findings in a future post.

But here is a quandry….and perhaps you can help me solve it. Do I count the liners in those 12 cans of Pepsi I let in my life between Jan and March as SINS? I thought I was making a good plastic choice….but alas was not. They’ve long gone to the recycling bin so I can’t include them in my plastic shrine (besides, where am I gonna get my hands on sodium hydroxide to magically isolate the liners…and then again…do I really want to get my hands on corrosive sodium hydroxide…ahhhh….NO!).

Post a comment and let me know.

Lessons learned:

  • Ignorance is PepsiBliss. ‘Cuz you can keep on unknowingly committing sins. But once TheTruth is pointed out to you…you have to make a choice. Do you continue to commit sin or change your ways? EnviroWoman has chosen to change her ways. Afterall, this is what this year is all about…giving up plastic and seeing how it transforms my life.
  • Plastic really is insidious. (The flip side is plastic is really a versatile wonder substance) Okay, you and I already knew both those points are true. But here’s yet another example of how you think you’re making a better ‘non-plastic’ choice…but until you are fully informed…you don’t know dick. I feel the need for a Part 2 of Plastics 101 coming on....
  • That Anonymous person sure is smart…and prolific. (I wonder if he/she is a munchkin?) I tell ya…I see him/her posting all over the Web leaving their wise and profound truisms for the rest of the world to bask in the glory of. EnviroWoman is SuperGlad Anonymous has graced the pages of her own blog. Even though initially it felt like he/she was driving a plastic stake through my Pepsi-lovin' heart. But Anonymous is just helping EnviroWoman stay true to her No-New-Plastic Pledge. Gotta luv 'em for that!

Saturday, May 5, 2007

Plastic free: Bed Sheets

The Prince and the Pea
by Hans Christian Andersen and EnviroWoman

Once upon a time in the magical kingdom of LaLaLand there lived a prince….Prince MyMcDreamy.

He had reached the age where it was time to grow up, say goodbye to the GirlsGoneWild and BarBimbettes, and find himself a wife….a real Princess.

So he traveled around the world searching for her. His quest took him from Alaska to Zanzibar and even to Match.com. But, in all his travels, he never found a TrueBluePrincess. Some came close, but none were ‘just right’. So finally, giving up all hope, he came home to LaLaLand empty handed.

TheQueenMother was not pleased. Was her son going to be TheBachelor for life?

One day, between royal engagements, Prince MyMcDreamy took a walk in the kingdom’s marketplace, but found himself caught in a torrential downpour. It stormed. It thundered. It rained torrents, as it often did in LaLaLand. The road back to the palace was washed away.

Soaked to the royal jewels and stranded, Prince MyMcDreamy took refuge in a tiny shop called Bed.

And it was there, among the myriad of brightly colored 100% cotton muslin duvets, sheets and pillowcases, that his heart skipped a little beat when he laid his eyes upon a true vision of loveliness – a woman (beautiful, blonde and with big bazookas) carrying a wire shopping basket filled with 22 Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut Chocolate bars (the ones in the paper and foil wrappers, not the shiny foily plastic wrappers).

Prince MyMcDreamy thought “Only a genuine princess could eat that much chocolate and still be that skinny.” So he said to the thing of beauty “Wow, you must be a TrueBluePrincess.”

The woman thought to herself “Oh paaalllleeease! That’s gotta be the worse pick up line ever” and said cheekily to Prince MyMcDreamy “Ahhh, no Buddy. I’m an EnviroWoman.”

The prince, realized he had just totally botched his one chance to make a good first impression, so backtracked with ‘My humble apologies for being so forward and unoriginal. I’ve just returned from a quest for a real princess and thought maybe you were TheOne.”

No prob, SweetCheeks,” said EnviroWoman, “I’m on a quest myself. I’ve taken a NoNewPlastic Pledge this year and have been searching the kingdom for bedsheets that don’t come packaged in plastic. I’ve been to the Bay, and to Ed’s Linen’s but everything…EVERYTHING comes packaged in plastic – and its not even recyclable plastic either. It’s discouraging. It’s un-necessary. And it’s not good for the kingdom. Or for the planet. The QueenMother really should pass a law that forbids it.”

Prince MyMcDreamy looked down at the woman’s feet. He thought for sure she must be standing on a soapbox.

EnviroWoman looked down at the man’s feet. A pool of water was collecting and the words ‘Poor drowned rat’ came to mind.

Her heart softened and she continued, “I’d nearly given up hope. And then I happened upon this little shop, which I’ve never been to before. And look…not a single plastic package in sight. Everything lovingly folded on the shelves, without any packaging at all. Don’t ya just love it! It’s exactly what I’ve been searching for. And look at all the great colors. It just goes to show you…never give up hope, because if you persevere, you’ll find what you’re looking for in the most unlikely places...”

They both looked up, and into each other’s eyes. In that instant TheFates and Cupid stepped in and worked their magic. Pheromones, testosterone, estrogen, and chocolate-laced endorphins collided. Sparks flew. Fireworks blew. It was LoveAtAlmostFirstSight.

EnviroWoman took Prince MyMcDreamy home that night. (Oh get your mind outta the gutter. What was she supposed to do? Remember, the road to the palace was flooded. She couldn’t just leave him there to sleep in the streets.)

Now EnviroWoman was no stupid gal. 'This guy seems too good to be true. I wonder if he REALLY is a SensitiveNewAgeGuy,' thought EnviroWoman.

But she said nothing. Instead she went into the guest bedroom, took all the old bed linens off and laid a pea on the mattress, then she piled twenty more mattresses on top of the pea, and then twenty quilts and muslin sheets on top of the mattresses. This was where Prince MyMcDreamy slept that night.

In the morning EnviroWoman asked Prince MyMcDreamy, “Hey SweetCheeks, how’d you sleep?

'Awful!' said MyMcDreamy. 'I hardly slept the whole night! The sheets were perfect, but it felt like I was lying on something hard and lumpy. My whole body is black and blue this morning.'

Wow, Prince MyMcDreamy really was a SensitiveNewAgeGuy.

Yup, it was a match made in heaven.

The QueenMother was so pleased she passed an ordinance banning all plastic and forcing all LaLaLand inhabitants to live a OnePlanetLife.

They all lived happily ever after.

This is a true fairy tale story.

So here’s how things add up:

Category: Bed Sheets
SAINT: Any product sold at Bed on West 4th here in LaLaLand (Vancouver). Organic Lifestyle.ca also sells Anna Sova sheets that come in a cloth bag (no plastic).
Price: Comparable. More for the 100% organic sheets
Quality: Really nice. Plus, after they are all used up, they’d make good, absorbent rags too.
SINNER: Any of the lines carried by department and big-box linen stores. Brands like Highland Feather, Ralph Lauren, Percale, Cosmo Girl, Martex, West Pointe Home, Aussino, Nautica, Charter Club House, Liz Clairborne, Maison Drive, Style & Co, NyGard, House & Home, Gluckstein Home, Mantles, Priscilla Presley, Estate, Charter Club Luxury.

Lessons Learned:
  • Support stores that don’t use packaging. They seem radical in today’s PackagingObsessed marketplace, but in fact they are really just taking us back to the way things were done decades ago. That is a good thing. Especially good for MotherEarth.
  • Question plastic packaging. Why do sheets come packaged in plastic, but towels don’t? They are both gonna touch naked nether regions of your bod. So why is one zipper-vaulted in THICK plastic (that isn't accepted in many blue-box recycling programs) and the other laid out bare on the shelf without any packaging? This is not SpockLogical. But it is a blatant misuse of Nature’s resources.
  • Can’t find it at the BigBoxBoys? Then try the LittleGuys. LittleGuys seem less packaging obsessed. Shop local.
  • Don't believe everything you read. Especially on the Internet.

Friday, May 4, 2007

PROGRESS REPORT: APRIL

I’ve finished month #4 living the ‘no-new-plastic’ pledge. I’ve got 8 months left to go in my New Year’s resolution… But lately I’ve been thinking of making this a life-time pledge. After all, many years ago I took my meat-free and cruelty-free vows – for life. Why not pledge plastic-free-for life too?

You’re probably thinking “Wow, living plastic-free for life! This EnviroWoman chick is either growing balls or needs to get a slightly tighter grasp on reality.”

‘Tis true my sweets I’m feeling rather brazen - because I’ve actually found it quite easy to adapt to life without plastic.

And look, look, look how successful I’ve been. This picture shows the paltry amount of plastic that has snuck into my life during all of 2007. Yes, yes, I haven’t been able to live TOTALLY plastic free…but this pic shows 4 months of plastic consumption, baby. I bet a lot of people use that much in one day. (To give you some pic-perspective, the big white chunk is deodorant...my first MAJOR SIN and the brown thing is a Tim Horton's coffee lid).

Okay, okay I’ll admit it wasn’t easy at the very beginning. I did suffer some major RudeAwakenings that first month in the areas that matter most to me….

But I guess these three ugly moments are a bit like childbirth. Painful at the time….but then you forget how really awful it was….and take the plunge one more time.

So I'm thinking of making the no-new-plastic pledge for life.....because…(this next part is a tad insane)….I’m having quite a bit of fun living plastic-free.

For now, my decision to go plastic-free for life is just simmering on the back burner. But oh-so tempting.

Anyway, there’s been some good plastic fortune this month....
  • EnviroWoman won the changeeverything.ca Viva La Resolution contest. How cool is that? And even cooler…the contest sponsor, Vancity, realizing the irony of the prize being a $500 Visa PLASTIC credit card…gave EnviroWoman a paper cheque instead. Gotta love the Vancity. What a nice bunch of good souls trying to make the world a better place.
  • There have been media ops as a result of the Viva La Resolution win. So off I go to them, with my soapbox in hand. Soon I’ll have to change my name to EnviroZealot!!! But you know, I just feel I gotta spread the word that WE ALL HAVE TO DO OUR PART to save the planet. It’s now or never.
  • An empty freezer. I wasn’t expecting this. But since frozen food is in league with the plastic-devil, it’s SpockLogical that the freezer would become a wasteland. Now, if I can just figure out how to convert my freezer into more fridge space….for all those fresh veggies… I’d be a happy no-plastic camper.
  • Finding plastic-free lipstick. Truly a gift from heaven for this GirlyGirl.
  • Brain food:
    An Ecosystem of One’s Own in the May VanityFair (only in print)
    Crude Awakening: The Oil Crash
    Lives Per Gallon
    Who Killed the Electric Car
    Garbage Land
    Care2 Make a Difference
Plastic aggravation this month...
  • The UrgetoPurge. EnviroWoman is now like a 3 pack-a-day smoker who after 30 years suddenly kicks the habit and now has zero tolerance for cigarette smoke. Plastic is my pariah, and it’s really starting to bug me to have it around, so the UrgeToPurge is starting to Surge.
  • Someone backed into MyLittleCar and dinged the door. No big deal - they had the decency to leave a note and ‘fess up. Gotta luv 'em for that. But here’s the downside….the plastic door trim is probably going to have to be replaced. I smell a MAJOR SIN sometime in May. Poop.

The big challenge this month...
Finding plastic free mascara. Coming up empty-handed. Even Googling for ancient Egyptian Cleopatra recipes – leads to a big ZERO? A blog commenter suggested Kohl…but where can I find it in Vancouver where I live? Punjabi markets came up empty handed.

Lessons learned this month...
  • If not you, then who? EnviroWoman is getting very, very scared about the future of Nature on our planet. And if I don’t do something about it…who will? Oh, I’m not saying the Earth will die without EnviroWoman. But I am saying…if YOU don’t act (yes, I’m talkin’ to YOU), how can you expect anyone else? Please oh please oh please… if you are reading this….start ACTING. And if you already are taking action….Do even more. That’s what I’m doing. And together maybe we can make a difference and turn the tide. Here, take my arm while I help you up onto my soapbox. There's plenty of room up here for both of us.
  • I am a SuperParasite. So are you. David Suzuki recently referred to humans as SuperSpecies…but David…as much as I admire and bow down to your Eco-Godliness…ya got that wrong. We are all SuperParasites: Organisms (Us) that grow, feed, and are sheltered on or in a different organism (the Planet and all its creatures) while contributing NOTHING to the survival of its host (the Planet and all its creatures) but instead cause the demise and death of the host. No matter how green EnviroWoman is…I know I will never contribute to the Web of Life as much as a small wee spider in the forest. Yeah, I really DO believe that. I am only a destroyer. A parasite. A gobbler-up of Nature’s resources. But I am trying to minimize my ParasiticEffect. (Okay, to be honest, EnviroWoman learned this lesson years ago…but oh lookie here...I'm standing on my soapbox)
  • I am PlasticIgnorant. Tis true. I went into this whole no-new-plastic pledge without knowing anything about plastic. I just knew I didn’t like it. And you and I both know…Ignorance is Bliss…it lets us continue doing bad, bad things while still thinking we are good, good humans. Well…I don’t want to be PlasticIgnorant any longer. So this month I started my own little PhD in Plastic from the University of EnviroWoman. Yup…I’m slipping on those ruby slippers and gonna learn about the WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic.
And here it is, my sweets, just to keep me honest, an account of my SINs for the month of April….

MINOR SINS for April 2007:
  • 2 plastic labels from Stewarts root beer (opted for a glass bottle rather than a plastic or aluminum can, but dang-it, the label was plastic)
  • Tampon wrappers (but I gotta say, all you women telling me about the Diva Cup have really got me tempted)

MAJOR SINs for April 2007:
  • None. But the mascara was pretty darn tempting.
Challenges Ahead: As current supplies are dwindling I’m starting to hunt for the following non-plastic/packaged, cruelty-free items:
  • Mascara. Like I said..I’m getting very tempted to commit a MAJOR SIN
  • Nail polish (I’m a GirlyGirl…but I’m beginning to think I gotta give this puppy up for 2007. Waaahhh)

If you have any suggestions where I can find these items please post a comment.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Plastic free: Lipstick

After getting all brainiac from her trip to Oz, EnviroWoman decided she needed a GirlyGirl reward.

So she bought lipstick!

One thousand and one. One thousand and two.

Okay, in those two seconds, 90% of TheTestosterones just hit the browser Back button. Bye, bye boys. But come back soon. Maybe next time EnviroWoman will blog about plastic-free hockey pucks or beer. Ya never know.

The other 10% of TheTestosterones diverted their attention from the computer monitor during those 2 seconds to yell over their shoulder ‘HoneyBun, SweetiePie, LoveofMyLifewiththeSmallTightLittleBuns....ya gotta come read this…EnviroWoman is talking lipstick.’ Oh boys, we so love you for that. Brownie points galore! Plus a little plastic-free peck on the cheek from EnviroWoman.

Now that leaves the rest of us Girrrllllsss!!!!!

And women….it’s true, today EnviroWoman celebrates…..miracle of miracles….plastic-free lipstick.

You’ve probably already heard about it, ‘cuz its getting plenty of buzz.

The stuff is Plant Love by Cargo Cosmetics.

EnviroWoman hates to admit it – but I bought it strictly for its packaging!!! Because it’s so revolutionary. Evolutionary, really. The first of its kind in the cosmetics industry. A serious injection of eco-cool.

The lipstick tube is made of PLA…the friendly bioplastic EnviroWoman discovered on her trip to Oz. You know, GoodWitchoftheNorthBioplastic. Made of corn. Completely compostable. Biodegrades within 100 days, into completely benign, non-toxic particles. Greenhouse-gas-neutral. Doesn't even like to call itself 'plastic' bioplastic.

Good, happy-planet stuff.

And they tell me, it’s cruelty-free too. Contains jojoba and shea butter. No petroleum, or mineral oil. No animal byproducts. Never tested on innocent sweet lives.

Good, happy-animal stuff.

And the accompanying box is also completely biodegradable and embedded with wildflower seeds, so you can plant it and watch it grow. (Although a trusted source tells me similar seeded-paper often ‘cooks’ the seeds during the paper-making process. So the seeds never grow.)

There’s 12 girly Plant Love shades. Cargo claims five were ‘designed’ by celebs (like Lindsay Lohan, and Evangline Lily) Yeah, like I really believe that, and do I really care. The other 7 shades were inspired by natural beauty (like Canada’s own Nahinni, or the US’s Yellowstone). Well, I kinda believe that, but it’s probably just marketing fluff, and again, do I really care.

As with any lipstick, there are two fundamental tests its gotta pass:


  1. Numero Uno is….staying power. EnviroWoman rates it as about a 5 outta 10.
  2. Numero Dos is the ‘kissable’ taste-test. TheBeast gives it an 8 (but she’d rate any kiss from MyHuman as an 8 - even if it truthfully tasted DoggyDooDooRaunchy. She loves me. I love her). On the other hand, MyMcDreamy gives it a 4. EnviroWoman has to admit, my immediate reaction to the first application was 'Ugh, this is a bit DoggyDooDooRaunchy’. TheBeast will probably love it.’ But, it seems to taste better now (maybe I’m just so determined to like this stuff, my objectivity is all puckered up).

Despite this, let’s all blow a kiss to Cargo – for being the first in the industry to use PLA bioplastics. And let’s hope they are not the last. Let’s hope this is the sign of things to come.

Because…..be honest Girrllllss – have you ever, ever, ever tossed an empty lipstick tube in the recycling bin? Probably not. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen any marked with a recycling symbol. My BodyShop lipsticks from 2006 aren’t. So most lipsticks should never grace your recycling bin….and if you’re tossing them there…you’re just fooling yourself. A plastic that isn’t marked with a Plastic Resin Code shouldn’t be recycled.

And hugs to anyone who buys Plant Love. Not just because they’re supporting an eco-friendly product and helping to build demand, but also because they’re forking out a whopping $20 bucks a tube. Although, Cargo buffers this by donating $2 to St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital. (EnviroWoman wonders….why wouldn’t an eco-friendly product donate its money to an eco-friendly environmental cause?)

So here’s how things add up:

Category: Lipstick
SAINT: Plant Love by Cargo….made of corn-based compostable bioplastic. Bonus points for being cruelty-free.
Price: $20.
Quality: Not as long-lasting as others, but not bad. Okay colors, though some are a bit too sparkly, even for this GirlyGirl.
SINNER: Body Shop (you don’t know how much it pains me to say that), L’Oreal, Revlon, Cover Girl, Lise Watier, Marcelle, Almay...oh hell, all of 'em...

Lessons Learned:

  • Ya gotta support the trailblazers when they appear to be blazing the right trail. Give them your money. Create the demand. Follow them as they walk you into a better future.
  • Vanity should do no harm. In an ideal world (which hopefully we’ll get to in EnviroWoman's lifetime) something as frivioulous as makeup shouldn’t hurt the planet…or any of its creatures.
  • Beasts love unconditionally, even when your kisses are DoggyDooDooRaunchy. We need more beasts in the world.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Plastic free: Trash Bags

I cut a plastic life-line loose the other day. In a little private ceremony in front of Safeway.

I deposited a whole swack of plastic bags into Safeway’s recycling bin. Adios amigos. Asta la vista. Sayonara.

This was a bundle which had taken up residence in the back seat of MyLittleCar after I tossed them there in the summer of 2006. I’d been too lazy or pre-occupied to deposit them into the recycling bin.

I re-discovered them in the early days of my no-new-plastic-pledge and thought…'Hmmmm…since the rule is I can continue to reuse any of the plastic I have in my life as of Dec 31st 2006, in a pinch I could use these as garbage bags when my paper ones run out.'

But those bags have remained there, untouched, since January 1st. So I thought it was time to let them happily be counted among the 3% of plastic bags that get recycled, instead of the 97% that end up in a landfill taking up to 1,000 years to disintegrate.

Surprisingly, it was easy to let them go.

Partly because I’m starting to get the UrgeToPurge all plastic in my life (even the stuff leftover from 2006). And partly because I’ve found a great substitute - compostable BagToNature kitchen trash bags made out of corn.

I took a lot of time choosing which bags I was gonna lay my cash down for. Not because this was some earth-shattering decision that the future existence of planet-kind hinged on (well, okay, maybe it was).

But rather, because of this comment :^) (yup, that was his/her name) made back in January letting me know not all plastic alternatives are created equal….and some may even be sneaky wolves wearing sheep’s clothing:

"Plastic bag manufacturers have started promoting their products as biodegradeable after they started adding tapioca to their recipes. Since tapioca is organic, a shopping bag containing tapioca will be broken down by micro organisms after it is discarded in the environment, seeding that environment with the polyethylene fragments that no micro organism will consume

I know of a shopping bag that is 100% natural and biodegradable, but due to its relative cost, there isn't a market for it here, yet..."

EnviroWoman will admit, she knew pretty much zippo…nil…nada…. about plastic before embarking on the plastic-is-my-pariah pledge.

Now, some of you may be thinking…'Chickiepoo, if you knew nothing about plastic, why were you so dead-set against it?' EnviroWoman’s snappy retort is… 'I don't have to jump out of a plane without a parachute to know it can't be good for me.'

Anyway, back to picking the right bags…. I so wanted to make a GOOD and informed decision. So I embarked on a crash course in Plastics 101.

And that made me head in the direction of compostable bioplastic bags. I think they’re a good choice. Not a perfect choice. But a good choice. They are better than degradable plastic bags made out of the evil petroleum but which have an additive that disguises them to look like good guys.

You might want to know ‘How can I get my own enviro paws on some BagtoNature’. And guess what. You might not be able to.

I bought mine at EPIC, the recent show here in Vancouver on sustainable living. And when I saw ‘em, I bought a year’s supply because they aren’t available locally from what I can tell. They have someone associated with zerowasteproducts.com who is trying to introduce them to our area, but alas, their website is under construction. Waaahhhh! If you want the sales person's contact info email me at envirowoman@shaw.ca.

The parent company is INDACO Manufacturing and their website gives more info about comparable products.

If you have a local supplier of eco-bags, make sure you check that they are compostable (not just degradable, or biodegradable) to ensure you're buying the most earth-friendly option. Check out Plastics 101: Part 1: Bad Witch, Good Witch for a whirlwind tour of the types of plastic.

So here’s how things add up:

Category: Trash Bags
SAINT: BagToNature, made of corn, compostable, degradable.
Price: Pricey little suckers. $5 for 20.
Quality: Thicker than regular plastic bags. They seem really durable. And most importantly they don’t seem to be subject to the TribbleEffect, which is always a good thing.
SINNER: Grocery store shopping bags….let’s face it most of us reuse them as trash bags instead of buying store bought trash bags made from Glad, Ziploc, or Safeway.

Lessons Learned:

  • Composting is MotherNature’s way. She only produces things that can be composted, and doesn’t add toxins in the process. (Yeah, I know, there’s gotta be some exceptions to that rule). Humans should follow her example. Rarely does MomNature burn her garbage, either. Another excellent example to follow. (I'm sure there's a book in there somewhere: All I really need to know, I learned from Mother Nature).
  • Lo and behold...there are GOOD (bio)plastics. Who knew?

Plastics 101: Part 1, Bad Witch, Good Witch

Grab a java. And your ruby slippers. This is one long trek through OZ.

All is not right in Kansas.

It started as just a windstorm a-brewing. But look over there, I'm sure that's a funnel cloud on the horizon. And can you feel a mysterious alteration of the air….and a slight breeze headed our way? The birds have stopped singing and the crickets aren't chirping. And when they’re quiet it’s never a good sign…’cuz it’s an omen a real tornado is headed our way.

And that tornado is global warming.

Will you and EnviroWoman be standing in the eye of the storm soon? Or can we change our ways profoundly enough, and fast enough to divert disaster?

Time magazine tells us there are 51 ways to help slow global warming. One way EnviroWoman has chosen is to take the 'no-new-plastic' pledge for 2007.

Now you might think 'Wow, to live a whole year with not letting any new plastic into your life really takes courage, heart, and brains.'

It’s true EnviroWoman is lion-hearted and not afraid to change her ways to save the planet. And long ago she learned to have a heart-full of compassion for nature and other living things.

But the one thing EnviroWoman needs is a better brain, because she's no expert when it comes to plastic. The sad, silly truth is, she is actually quite ignorant about plastic (as are most of us probably).

This became blatantly obvious when she landed in No-New-Plastic Land (with TheBeast tucked under her arm) and started her journey down the yellow brick road to find a non-plastic replacement for trash bags. Yes. Trash bags.

She knew the road ahead was going to be a challenge after reading a comment that :^) made back in January (yes, that really is the name he/she goes by....must be a Prince fan), letting her know some plastic alternatives may not actually be as WizardWonderful as they appeared.

But, EnviroWoman knew somewhere over the rainbow there must be a better, more earth-friendly solution. And she wanted to make the right, informed choice.

So EnviroWoman decided it was time to start her plastic education. And you my friend, are welcome to follow the yellow brick road with her, share in what she learns….so you too can become plastic-enlightened.

So slip on your ruby slippers…here we go....

The
first installment of Plastics 101
(Apologies if there are shameful inaccuracies. Feel free to correct me by adding a comment. I don’t claim to be an expert, nor have I fact-checked the content below with ScienceWizard)

Science and innovation combined their forces and gave birth to the WickedWitchoftheEastOil way back as early as the 1850’s. When she hit puberty in the early 1900’s she started to build her powers and began casting spells on the people of MunchkinLand.

Around that same time, she conjured herself up a little sister – the WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic. And when Baby Sis's own powers started to kick-in during the early 1950’s – ooooeeee she too became a formidable force. WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic increased her hold over the planet 6000% in the next 4 short decades. Wicked, wicked woman.

Today, WickedWitchoftheEastOil and WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic have such a strong spell over MunchkinLand that it's inhabitants are all now OilAddicted and PlasticAddicted. And wrecking havoc on MotherOZ.

But the sister witchs' source of power is non-renewable. And therein lies their weak spot. (Because, in the next 40 years or so, their power is going to get completely used up)

In EnviroWoman's search for an incantation to release herself from the WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic’s spell, she started researching alternatives to plastic trash bags.

The Munchkins told her, 'Travel to the Emerald City and look for ‘bioplastics. EnviroWoman had ignorantly thought that all plastics were WickedWitchoftheEast petroleum-based. But bioplastics didn’t seem to be…even though they carried the moniker ‘plastic’. So that made EnviroWoman ask…

What the Heck is Plastic Anyway?

The Munchkins told her 'It’s plastic if it’s fluid at some point during processing but solid in its final form, and the main ingredient is a polymer. Some polymers are natural (silk, natural rubber, starch) and some are synthetic (nylon, polyester).' Boy, those Munchkins are smarter than they look.

Anyway, there are many, many kinds of plastics and a couple of kinds of bioplastics. For the sake of our journey down the yellow brick road, let’s plunk them into 4 broad categories.

WickedWitchoftheWest – Petroleum Based Plastics (I'll get you my little pretty!)

  • ‘Traditional’ plastic (the one we're all addicted to) uses non-renewable petroleum as the polymer. No doubt, its durable, cheap, lightweight, and long-lasting. But it’s not degradable (well, maybe in 1,000 years) or compostable. You could drop a house on it, and it still wouldn't go away.

    Therein lies EnviroWoman's beef with it.


  • Over 200 billion pounds of plastics are produced each year worldwide. That’s about 40 pounds for everyone on the planet - every year. Doesn't sound too bad does it? But plastic is super light...a 2 liter pop bottle weighs 1/2 ounce mabye. Now do the math. That’s alot of plastic.

    And the vast majority of that doesn’t get recycled. It gets discarded.

    Do we have the right to pollute the planet with garbage
    that will still be here in MunchkinLand 40 generations later? I hope you answered 'No'.

    Imagine if you moved into a new home and the previous residents had left all their garbage behind. You’d be disgusted. (Excuse me while EnviroWoman steps down from her soapbox now...no wait, she thinks she'll stay up here a while longer).

    Many varieties of petroleum-based plastic can be recycled and these are denoted with an SPI Resin Identification Code of 1 through 7. One being the easiest to recycle into other goods and 7 being the hardest.

    The Munchkins gave Envirowoman the Pyramid of Plastics by Greenpeace shown below, and she added her own personal touch to it.

    Look at the three plastics at the top of the pyramid.

    #3 Polyvinyl chloride (PVC) was called the ‘poison plastic’ in Greenpeace’s excellent document. Dated, but still excellent.

    #7 plastic was demonized as ‘inherently toxic’ and ‘a train wreck that is absolutely coming’ in a recent Globe and Mail article which was ooo-eee scary scary stuff (you can also find it here).

    Both #3 and #6 are not accepted by our own municipal blue box recycling program (EnviroWoman is always surprised by how many people don’t know that….and even more stupefied that some people don’t know about the 7 symbols and where to find them on plastic items. Staggering.)


  • Degradable plastic uses non-renewable petroleum as the polymer, but includes an additive (often a starch, like the tapioca mentioned in :^)’s comment).

    The additive accelerates degradation under certain biological or physical conditions (sunlight or heat, for example) making the plastic break down into small fragments that themselves take a long, long time to degrade.

    The fragments (which remember, are petroleum based) can be ingested by marine life or migrate into the water table or soil where they can attract and hold highly toxic elements like little munchkin PCBs and DDTs. In essence, the fragments can act like little toxic chemical transport systems.

    If you continuously put degradable plastic bags in your compost pile, eventually you’d pollute the soil.


  • Degradable plastics are marketed as if they are a beautiful field of poppies, lulling us into a ‘these are good’ comfort so much so that we fall asleep and forget that our real goal is to reach the EmeraldCityNirvana of a planet-friendly alternative.

    Sometimes you have to get past the smoke and mirrors, and pull the curtain to discover the true Wizard.

    In fact, degradable plastics are really more like ‘Winged Monkeys’ - modified from their original form but still actually hand maidens of the WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic.

GoodWitchoftheNorth – Bioplastics (There's no place like Mother Earth)

  • Biodegradable plastics are a much friendlier witch. Classified as ‘bioplastics’, they are not derived from petroleum, but from renewable resources like, corn, trees, and soy. That makes them much more EarthFriendly, as noted in the Greenpeace chart.


  • Naturally-occurring micro-organisms such as bacteria, fungi and algae feed on them, degrading them in the process. Biodegradable plastics may not disintegrate instantaneously, but still degrade faster than traditional plastics. Manufacturers can even ‘tune’ the degradation period by incorporating certain additives.

    One downside: they are not required to ensure they leave 'NO toxic residue' during the degradation process.

  • Compostable plastics are bioplastics that degrade into C02, water, inorganic compounds and biomass at the same rate as paper when composted. Completely benign. No toxic or heavy metal residues. They even support plant life. And they usually disintegrate in less than 180 days under industrial composting conditions (usually 60 degrees, defined humidity and micro-organisms present).


  • The BagtoNature trash bags EnviroWoman finally decided on, fall into this category and are made from a renewable resource - corn. BagtoNature is careful to not even use the word 'plastic' in their sales material, so we realize they are offspring of the GoodWitchoftheNorthBioPlastic.

    Don’t they sound ‘EmeraldCity spectacular? Alas….some bloggers report that in household composting systems, compostable bioplastics seem to take forever to degrade.

    Here in Vancouver’s corner of MunchkinLand, although we have a fantastic blue-box-recycling program, we don’t have a community composting program. So EnviroWoman’s lovely BagToNature bags are gonna make their way to a landfill instead of an industrial composting site. But (fingers-crossed) they should decompose much, much faster and into much healthier particles than the Safeway plastic bags she used to use.

    Now let’s not get too fooled by all this TechnoWizardry. When WickedWitchoftheWest plastics were first introduced they probably looked EmeraldCitySpectacular too. And now 60 years later we’re discovering all the toxic, polluting, and gonna-be-around-for-1,000-years downsides. Maybe the same will happen with bioplastics.

    Someday they may not appear so WizardWonderful.

    And let’s face it, they still have their problems:

  • They don’t prevent people from littering

  • Animals can still choke on them (but in small pieces they get assimilated as normal food)

  • They shouldn’t be mixed in with traditional plastics during the recycling process (small quantities are okay, but with big quantities WickedWitchoftheWestPlastic likes to scream 'I'm melting. I'm melting' all on her own.)

  • They’re more expensive (but as demand increases you'd think the price would come down. So start demanding!)

  • And just imagine all the agricultural land it would take to grow enough corn etc. to satisfy our lust for plastic addiction.

  • And so on and so on…
  • But as the WickedWitchoftheEastOil begins to lose her powers, and oil becomes increasingly expensive because of its rarity, the only logical move is to towards bioplastics. The GoodWitchoftheNorthBioplastics may be our saviour and our future.

Forgive EnviroWoman while she gets UberOZ on you….but she had an epiphany while reading an article from Bioplastics Magazine (She used to read InStyle, now she reads Bioplastics…wow, the times, they are a-changing).

The BrightBulbConcept goes something like this…..Composting mimics the way nature takes care of its own waste here on Earth. It’s a perpetual loop system that goes like this: gorw/produce/convert – use – biodegrade – grow/produce/convert, etc. It’s sort of an ashes to ashes, dust to dust kinda concept (that doesn’t add toxic chemicals in the process, I might add).

Nature doesn’t produce things that can’t be composted (except for maybe mountains...and even then, if you waited long enough....). And Nature rarely uses incineration (forest fires) to recover materials (she knows burning your garbage isn't as planet-friendly).

EnviroWoman knows MotherNature is a superior intelligence. Way, way smarter than the WizardofOz. And bizillions of light years ahead of our own little peabrains. If it’s the way MomNature does things…it’s the way EnviroWoman thinks we should do things, too.

And if we do...and use our courage, heart, and brains, maybe we can save the planet.

Now close your eyes, tap your ruby slipper heels together, and repeat after me three times:

There’s no place like MotherEarth. There’s no place like Mother Earth. There’s no place like MotherEarth.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Plastic free: Frozen Pizza

I have a confession to make. And no, it’s not another MAJOR SIN.

Let me premise the murky, mucky, dirty details by saying EnviroWoman likes to think she lives her life to high moral standards. Sure, she’s had momentary lapses. Road rage. Revenge fantasies. White lies. Plastic purchases. But for the most part…she travels life with a clean slate and a clear conscious.

But now…with a Scarlett Letter….

You see, EnviroWoman has been having an adulterous love affair….with Dr. Oetker.

And this has been one crazy kinda love….the stuff of Pulitzer Prize winning Harlequin Romances.

I still remember the exact moment I caught my first cosmic-fated, soul-mated ‘where have you been all my life’ glimpse of him right there in Safeway’s frozen food aisle. From that instant, I surrendered my body, soul, and wallet over to him.

I was smitten. Big time.

Our dangerous liaisons were hot….torrid….broiling…lip-burning secret encounters. I made him melt. And he….he was literally consumed by my passionate embraces.

I’ll confess – he was even better than MyMcDreamy. He was….MyMcSteamy!

The WiseVoiceInside said ‘He’s no good for me.’ Girl friends told me ‘What are you thinking? He’s 18% fat. Get rid of him!’ But I pulled the wool right over my own eyes, in that love-is-blind kind of way.

My appetite was insatiable. I wanted him so, so bad. Even if it meant becoming a JennyGirl.

When he started to demand more, I was still putty in his hands. First he asked ‘2 for $8’. Then $4.69 for one. Then $5.39, Then $6.49. Always testing my devotion. In a 'take-advantage' kinda way. And still, I remained his faithful mistress.

But today, as I reached into the freezer and took out the very, very, very last box of Dr. Oetker’s frozen Ristorante pizzas left over from 2006, I realized this illicit liaison was coming to an end. Because that hunka hunka o’ burnin’ love comes packaged in plastic.

Today, after one last passionate fling, I gave Dr. Oetker the love-punt…right into the recycling bin. He and I are splitzville. I won't be bringing him home again. World’sBestMom will never be able to proudly claim “My daughter is marrying a doctor.”

We are now officially ‘ex’s. Star-crossed lovers.

There will be no more day-dreaming about him at work….rushing home…ripping off my coat…throwing open the freezer door…the heat of those 12 minutes at 425 degrees…No more delicious climatic embraces with ‘Big O’. No more devouring him with my love.

Alas, I am the dumper. He…the dumpee. I’ve told him ‘It’s me. Not you.’ You see, I’ve just outgrown him. I need something more….something better….something plastic-free. I’ve raised my standards. I’ve come to my senses. I’ve taken the ‘no-new-plastic-pledge’. So I’m washing Dr. Oetker right outta my hair.

As Elizabeth Bennet would say…'Go, Go, I would not wish you back again.'

Now don’t think you have to lay the ‘plenty-of-fish-in-the-sea’ hollow platitudes on me. I’m totally ‘Okay’ with an empty freezer. Besides, my pizza celibacy will be short-lived. (Not that I intend to go on the prowl again back at the Safeway frozen food aisle, because all of Dr. Oetker’s friends are the same plastic-packaged-at-the-core-scoundrels he was.)

You see my sweets, it’s fresh pizza only from this moment forward for EnviroWoman. And luckily, there’s a pizzeria just 52 steps away from her front door. She’s already been eyeing the new hunky plastic-free GreekOdonis there. You should see the size of his tomatoes. (Don’t tell MyMcDreamy).

So here’s how things add up:


Category: Frozen Pizza
SAINT: Your local pizzeria that serves fresh, fresh, fresh.
Price: A bit more expensive.
Quality: Debatable. Dr. Oetker's was pretty special. Thin crust. Not too fattening. Low cal. Satiating, but not stuffing. And there when you want him, at your beck and call, no matter if it's even the wee morning hours (Can’t you tell, I don’t have him out of my system yet).
SINNER: Any frozen pizza by McCain, Kraft, Del Maestro, Dr. Oetker, Safeway Select, or whatever brands reside in your local frozen food aisle.

Lessons Learned:

  • Fresh is better than frozen 'cuz frozen food is in bed with the plastic-devil.
  • WiseVoiceInside is always right. Pay attention to it. Heed its warnings. It is the closest thing we humans have to ‘natural instinct’. Girl friends are good too.
  • It is better to have an empty freezer and be able to live with oneself, than have a full freezer and be a plague on the planet and to those you love.

Saturday, April 7, 2007

Plastic free: Girl Guide Cookies

Ah, the first signs of Spring have appeared.

When I was a prairie-girl, you knew it was spring when you saw the year’s first dead gopher splattered on the side of the road. I'm not kidding.

Thankfully, here on the west coast, spring is heralded by much lovelier signs: cherry blossoms, magnolia blooms, and the appearance of Girl Guides hawking their cookies.

But this year, I’ve sworn off letting any new plastic into my life, and alas, I declare it with a heavy heart – that’ means Girl Guide Cookies are off limits for 2007. Because those little femme-fatale-concoctions are lovingly nestled in cradles of plastic.

(Notice how EnviroWoman now momentarily lapses into a rare ‘glass half empty’ point of view.)

Now I gotta say, this all SUCKS BIG TIME. I don’t like being the CookieScrooge. Because it gives me a thrill to support these WeeWomen by purchasing their sugary morsels. They always seem so triumphant when your cold hard cash lands in their pink little palms. Donald Trumpettes in the making. Too, too cute.

Plus, it’s a semi-annual tradition to leave a GirlGuideGift on MyNeighbour’s doorstep. And this year I can’t. Her and I have a quid pro quo pact …she supports my sugar habit…I support her’s. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday and already the Bunny-Next-Door has visited - her doorstoop is graced with ribbon-festooned boxes stuffed with an ooey-gooey cinnamon bun and a choclately-cheesecake…and my doorstep is graced with foil covered Easter Eggs, and a little Purdy’s Easter-bun-bun (that one’s wrapped in plastic, so I’m gonna have to re-gift it to someone else – MyNeighbour is unaware I have magically morphed into the ‘plastic-is-my-pariah’ EnviroWoman this year).

Anyhoo, it’s just a crying shame EnviroWoman has had to break with the circle of sugar-GirlGuide-love. You'd think she'd be able to loosen up the sphincter a bit on this one - but she's starting to feel people expect her to be the poster-girl for plastic redemption, so she has to stick to her guns.

(Now notice how EnviroWoman makes a brave attempt to take her usual ‘glass half full’ perspective on this sad, bleak, dark-well-of-despair situation)

Well, at least I have another 6 months to prepare myself for the fact I can’t buy any of their Chocolately Mint Girl Guide cookies this October – because those ones are REALLY TO DIE FOR. Way better than the Spring line of ‘Classic’ cookies. It’s gonna take everything I’ve got not to be tempted into MAJOR SIN when those little puppies get waved in front of my sugar-zombied eyes (and by October, probably sugar-deprived-zombied eyes) by some cute little jelly-bean of a girl. So it’s probably a good thing I’ll have plenty of time to prepare my inner fortitude.

(Now notice how EnviroWoman makes a plea to live vicariously through you, dear reader)

Now, I hear through the grapevine, some of you folks who read my rants have actually started giving up plastic in your own lives. And I think that’s MAGIC. We all have to break our addiction to petroleum so we don’t burn up the planet.

But can you do EnviroWoman this one favourgo buy some GirlGuide cookies. Commit a plastic SIN on my behalf, so I don’t have to. Give the little darlin’s a thrill and buy their cookies. Just ‘cuz I can’t, doesn’t mean YOU can’t partake of this annual Spring tradition and welcome in the season of hope and renewal.

Lessons Learned

  • Sometimes it sucks to be EnviroWoman!
  • In emergencies you have to save the Mother first, before tending to the child. Like when the yellow oxygen masks fall from the overhead bins in a plummeting airplane, or when the MotherShip is burning up due to global warming.
  • The glass is always 100% full. 50% with water, 50% with air. Take that Mensa!

Monday, April 2, 2007

Plastic-free: Flowers

I feel guilty every time I buy flowers. I think it has to do with my cruelty-free chromosome. Something so so beautiful, having it’s life cut short (literally) for me, just seems so, so wrong. I just don’t feel I have the right.

That’s why I never buy flowers for myself. But sometimes, I will admit, I buy them for others. I know, that’s a big wallop of makes-no-sense, illogical, incongruency – but there you have it.

But now that I’ve given up plastic in 2007, buying flowers presents not just a moral challenge, but also a plastic challenge too. Because flowers come wrapped in plastic

Now you might be thinking ‘Well EnviroWoman, buy a plant instead!' And usually I do. It seems like such an obvious, guilt-free and great solution, doesn’t it? Except plants come in green plastic pots.

I thought if I narrowed my search to plants potted in ceramic or wicker planters I’d come up smelling like a rose. But NOOOOOO, because those puppies can be oh-so-devious – dig deep with your green thumb, and you’ll discover they’re often just a plastic potted plant popped into a ceramic planter.

I searched high and low, and thought I may have to give up on the whole ‘welcome the new team member with flowers’ notion….and then I lucked out and found flowers in a glass vase – completely plastic-free.

The original container the roses were stored in was metal too - so this seemed to be as close to ‘plastic-free’ as I was gonna get. The florist even let me carry my bouquet out of the store ‘as-is’ with no extra packaging/wrapping.

So here’s how things add up:

Category: Flowers
SAINT: Bouquets in a glass vases.
Price: More expensive. You’re not gonna find $5 worth of daisies in a glass vase, plus you’re paying for the vase. But at least the vase is reusable.
Quality: The same…and come to think of it….a much nicer gift for the recipient
SINNER: All flowers packaged in plastic and all plants in those green plastic planters.


Lessons Learned:

  • Dig deep. Looks can be deceiving. Sometimes you have to get your hands dirty and get to the root of the problem to discover if there is really is something more sinister below the pretty fascade. True with flowers. True with life. (Can't you just see it now 'The Tao of EnviroWoman'. Pooh, ya better watch out!)